It has taken me a long time to realise that
Noise has a nasty way of creeping up on people
Or maybe it is the other way around
I am present now
I hope time allows for all my delayed responses
I hope time is forgiving of my prolonging
I hope that hope does not mind my using her name in vain
But I know no sweeter blasphemy
I am relearning the taste of peace
I had forgotten that it is an acquired melody
My breathing is the house I jiggle nude in
Life keeps meeting me at the front door
Asking me to come in.
I have done nothing to earn its daily visit
Last week I knelt on the bathroom floor
I prayed over a white sink smudged with toothpaste and tears
I said God out loud.
I can’t remember when last I did that.
It was all the prayer I needed.
Two days ago. God took my hand and said
You are everything and enough. Let go.
I feel like a King dining in a kingdom I do not deserve
But serves me its best
Over and over again
Even when I am a mess
Especially when I am a mess
How I am all at once mess and fragile marrow,
Magic and miracle
But 70% mess on a good day.
Healing is a choir chanting my name in caps and exclamation marks
Love is stapling all my scattered pages
It does not mind that they are not numbered
Tomorrow is an unexpected gift
One I am excited to receive
But not entitled to.
I have missed you
I want to hear what’s on your mind.